Thanks for taking the time to write this. I tried the agent querying process and just gave up and self-published. Even self-publishing takes privilege: I did everything the "right" way and hired professionals for the cover, editing, typesetting, and marketing. Cost $14k and it's made about $150 back. I've sat down to write another book but I just can't justify it enough to bother. What you're saying is spot on how my experience went, and you've got even more of a foot in the field than I do. Lots of turds are going to go, "oH yOur jUsT wHIninG," but that's just because they haven't spent the time or money trying and because they need to deconstruct others in order to feel meaningful or successful. It's such a broken system, but it also has so much power that I don't see how to get around it.